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Archive for the ‘News’ Category

Military Robot Feeds On Dead Bodies

July 15th, 2009 03:37pm by stultzie

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EATR

…clever, and ridiculously fitting.

A Maryland company under contract to the Pentagon is working on a steam-powered robot that would fuel itself by gobbling up whatever organic material it can find — grass, wood, old furniture, even dead bodies.

Robotic Technology Inc.’s Energetically Autonomous Tactical Robot — that’s right, “EATR” — “can find, ingest, and extract energy from biomass in the environment (and other organically-based energy sources), as well as use conventional and alternative fuels (such as gasoline, heavy fuel, kerosene, diesel, propane, coal, cooking oil, and solar) when suitable,” reads the company’s Web site.

That “biomass” and “other organically-based energy sources” wouldn’t necessarily be limited to plant material — animal and human corpses contain plenty of energy, and they’d be plentiful in a war zone. (more…)

Popularity: 7%

Midget Wrestlers Drugged by Hookers

July 14th, 2009 04:41pm by stultzie

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La Parkita  and Espectrito Jr.

RIP

Apparently it is common in Mexico for prostitutes to drug and rob their ‘clients’, as was the case with these two luchadores.

The drugs, most likely intended to knock them out, unfortunately proved to be fatal.

Silly hookers…

giving midgets ‘big people’ doses of drugs…

tisk tisk

Popularity: 1%

Dead Fish Bitch

July 11th, 2009 07:00am by stultzie

www.reuters.comWannabe Latin lovers can improve their technique by playing with the erogenous zones of naked mannequins at a new interactive exhibition that has now opened in Berlin.

The “Amora sex academy” that opened in Berlin on Thursday welcomes visitors with the wry slogan, “Finally — an exhibition for those who always have to touch everything.”

The show features several life-sized plastic models, naked and in various positions. One female mannequin lights up when touched in the right spot. A voice shrieks “That’s it!” when the visitor manages to put his finger on the elusive G-spot.

Practice makes perfect, no?

…even when it is stiff, cold and unresponsive, apparently.

They claim the mannequins speak when one hits the ‘right spot’, though, so perhaps they are responsive (sadly more so than some females).

LADIES!

Don’t let plastic outdo you!

If there is one thing I’ve taken from this article, it’s that the ladies need to assert themselves! Talking mannequins are a step away from A.I. sex partners, and if they were to come into development whose fault would that be? Every dead fish bitch out there that makes their partner have to guess. Sorry!  Just saying. And no I don’t mean fake it! Be constructive…be honest! Think about it though…they don’t have scrotums that reward you for superior juggling. Only women cluing in, otherwise lost and confused, men! Seriously though…models of women with fabricated  talking g spots?

TERRIBLE!

What, oh what, has the sex world come to?



andddddddd btw

if you’re offended…

you’re obviously a dead fish bitch!

check yo’self…

because you’re the problem!

(and you’re the kind of girl I would push out of bed)

((unlike Megan Fox…or Lucy Lawless, who are obviously A+) (more…)

Popularity: 26%

Crazy Naked Lady Struck by Prison Bus

July 10th, 2009 04:12pm by stultzie

womanhitbybusThis story is awesome. Like, SO awesome.

Instead of making any additional commentary on the article, I’m just going to bold the most awesome-est parts!

PROVIDENCE—A woman being driven to Rhode Island’s mental hospital was struck by a bus transporting prisoners after she jumped out of a taxi and ran across the highway.

State Police Capt. James Swanberg said the woman assaulted a cab driver taking her to the Eleanor Slater Hospital in Cranston on Tuesday morning, causing the taxi to strike a guardrail on Interstate 95 in Providence.

The woman ran across the highway without her shirt on and police say she was struck by a bus carrying prisoners, presumably to court in Providence. The woman suffered non-life threatening injuries and was taken to Rhode Island Hospital, police said.

The prisoners were placed on a second bus. Swanberg says the woman will face charges of simple assault and disorderly conduct.

God bless you, you crazy bitch.

And while I’m feeling ’spiritual’ I’d also like to thank the late J.C. for preventing a tragedy such as a 12 car pile up, as I’m sure untamed breasts swinging about on a highway could have been a little distracting to other drivers.

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though the poster raises a valid point…

hmmm… to scratch or not to scratch that last comment

now i’m just torn

Popularity: 5%

From the cover of the WSJ – Mooning Festival!

July 10th, 2009 03:56pm by flipvine

mooning-festivalYou know its gonna be a great day when the Wall Street Journal covers a Mooning Festival in Laguna Niguel, Orange county, CA – on the front page of the paper.  Sarah McBride (the author of the article) – you’re my hero.  Let me just quote some of the colorful puns she’s managed to sneak onto the front page:

A Mooning Festival Is Something The Mayor Just Can’t Get Behind
As Town Turns Its Back on 30-Year-Old Event, Will Train Flashing Go Into Eclipse?

…This year, the city, on the busy Orange County corridor between Los Angeles and San Diego, is planning a crackdown.

Superb, I have to say, that kind of writing really cheers up the front page of an otherwise stuffy (even on a Friday) paper.  For those interested in more details, check out the event’s official site.  The site even has estimated schedules for when trains will pass.  The event is a yearly occurrence, and marks its 30th anniversary this year.  Get this – last year between 8 and 10 thousand people showed up.  If I lived in the area, I’d be taking Amtrak trains back and forth just to ride by that many asses.  I mean, that’s gotta be a site to see!  Here are some pics for you – one “on location” and one from inside a train. :-D

(more…)

Popularity: 4%