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Why I Fired My Secretary

September 16th, 2009 03:10pm by flipvine

secretaryLast week was my birthday and I didn’t feel very well waking up on that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, “Happy Birthday!”, and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone “Happy Birthday.”

I thought… Well, that’s marriage for you, but the kids… They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn’t say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, “Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!”

It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o’clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, “You know, It’s such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me.”

I said, “Thanks, Jane, that’s the greatest thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go !”

We went to lunch.. But we didn’t go where we normally would go. She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Jane said, “You know, It’s such a beautiful day… We don’t need to go straight back to the office, Do We?”

I responded, “I guess not. What do you have in mind ?” She said, “Let’s drop by my apartment, it’s just around the corner.”

After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, “Boss, if you don’t mind, I’m going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I’ll be right back.”

“Ok.” I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake … Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing “Happy Birthday”.

And I just sat there.

On the couch.

Naked.

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7 Responses to “Why I Fired My Secretary”

  1. LOL says:

    OMG! You made my day!

  2. That is the funniest thing I havbe heard in a long time. Sent ti to all of my friends on facebook

  3. Junior Jay says:

    that was fantastic!

  4. mooby says:

    dude thats fucking awesome wonder what your wife said lol it will never be lived down im sure way to make an akward moment man you rule

  5. prime says:

    old joke is old. didnt happen

  6. popzikle says:

    Welcome redditors! ha we know this joke is old and dont know who posted it on reddit… ha. anyway go find the post “handlebars” its terrific

  7. noodlyjames says:

    Wait, he has breakfast waiting? Lucky bastard!!!

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