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Posts Tagged ‘playboy party jokes’

Shame on you Dr. Doctor

August 2nd, 2009 02:17pm by flipvine

FACEPALMI just found this great joke, heh, still laughing as I’m typing this:

A doctor had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty the next day. No matter how hard he tried to forget about it, his shame and sense of betraal were overwhelming.

But every once in a while he’d hear a reassuraning voice in his head that said, “Don’t worry about it. You aren’t the first medical practitioner to have sex with one of his patients.”

But then he would hear another voice, one that jolted him back to reality. “You are a sick bastard,” it whispered, “and a terrible veterinarian.”

Seems like a Playboy Party Joke kinda joke, but I can’t vouch for that.

Popularity: 4%

The mailman’s last day

June 12th, 2009 01:34pm by flipvine

the mailman's last dayI can’t remember where I got this joke, but it sounds like a Playboy Party Joke honestly, just don’t ask me to quote the exact issue.

It was the mailman’s last day on the job after 10 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope. At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She enticed him to come in, took him by the hand and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the best sex he had ever experienced. When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.

As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill under the cup’s bottom edge. “All this was just too wonderful for words,” he said, “but what’s the dollar for?” “Well,” she said, “last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you.” He said, “Fuck him, give him a dollar.” The lady then said, “The breakfast was my idea.”

By the way, the picture on the right is a direct screenshot from the USPS website ;)  Although to be honest, the chick looks like she’s a fan of UPS (brown t-shirt, yeah, yeah, tired joke, i know).

Popularity: 4%

Excellent Political Joke

June 11th, 2009 03:23pm by flipvine

Can’t take credit for this one, if you’re the kind of Playboy reader I am, the first place you look is the centerfold and then immediate after that you read through the Party Jokes page.  Well, I’d say every couple issues there’s a gem of a joke – a diamond in the rough – that’s worth serious commemoration.  This is one of those jokes:

us-white-house-fenceThree contractors were bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. The first contractor said, “I figure the job will run about $900 – $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me.”

The second contractor announced, “I can do this job for $700 – $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me.”

The third contractor leaned over to the White House official and whispered, “$2700.”

The incredulous White House official asked him, “How did you come up with such a high figure?”

The contractor smiled and said, “$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the second guy to fix the fence.”

And if you really must know, it was in the April 2009 issue of Playboy. :-D

Popularity: 4%