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Archive for the ‘Poetry’ Category

Valentine’s Day Jokes

February 14th, 2010 05:57pm by flipvine

happy-valentines-day-sexyFor those of you seeking to brighten up an either already bright or perhaps a gloomy Valentine’s Day (and if the picture on the right didn’t help), here are some V-Day funnies.

First, a little question and answer session:

Why did the banana go out with a prune?
Because it couldn’t get a date.

What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
“I find you very attractive.”

What did the Valentine card say to the stamp?
“Stick with me and we’ll go places!”

What is a vampire’s sweetheart called?
His ghoul-friend.

What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine’s Day?

Did you hear about the near-sighted porcupine?
He fell in love with a pincushion!

Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend?
She didn’t suit his taste.

What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?
“I love you a ton!”

And now some squirrel jokes (for some reason these little pack-rats are animals of choice on this holiday):

funny-pictures-squirrel-big-nutsWhat do squirrels give for Valentine’s Day?

What did the boy squirrel say to the girl squirrel on Valentine’s Day?
“I’m nuts about you!”

What did the girl squirrel say to the boy squirrel on Valentine’s Day?
“You’re nuts so bad yourself!”


Popularity: 5%

ass munch… but I don’t bite!

November 24th, 2009 04:35pm by stikkemmup

I am hungy mmmmmm…


Popularity: 2%

Mime Haiku

July 6th, 2009 08:19pm by flipvine

mime-groin-kick.What’s that over there?
Not a bull, but a person
For me to lasso.

Oh help me! Help me!
This box is getting smaller!
Oh wait, you don’t care.

Look at me, friend. I”m
A kabuki referee.
No, I’m a mime, dick.

Guess what animal
I am. No, not that, not that.
Nope. I was a frog.

Before I tell you
Why I wear a skin-tight shirt,
Is it cold in here?

Wow, how can I dance
On the sun, you ask? Because
It’s made of cardboard.


Popularity: 1%