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The new Trojan Man – feels like nothing’s there!

July 8th, 2009 09:42am by flipvine

Picture 3Ladies, Gentlemen, Friends, Romans, Countrymen and of course Horses, rejoice! According to new Trojan ads, their new Ecstasy-flavored condoms “Feel like nothing’s there!”.

Now, I see a couple points of irony in this particular flavor of advertising. Umm.. looks lemony-yellow to me, but that’s beside the point.

“Nothing’s there” – that’s what she said.  That would be the first point of irony.  I mean, if you’re having sex, I would imagine you’d WANT to have something there.  (Actually, let me know if I’m completely off-base on this one – for instance if the whole Ecstasy thing is actually the opposite of the Magnum line and is actually meant for people who suffer from a total lack of genitals – I really didn’t do my research on this one, but I did laugh for about 6 minutes after seeing that ad).

The second ironic conundrum is the whole trojan man thing.  You know – the horse thing – nobody thought there were tons of little men in there – they felt that nothing was there – and then bam! all the little men come pouring out of the damned giant wooden horse and burn your city down.  So when it “feels” like nothing’s there, is that just the Trojan way of saying “you’re gonna get pregnant anyway because these condoms are completely, totally, absolutely defective”?

150px-Trojan_horseI thought it was a MUCH better move when they were going with the whole “Trojan Horse” angle:

Trojan Horse condoms, the ride of your life

Looking for protection for your stallion? Safe sex whilst getting your oats? Look no further than Trojan Horse condoms. For the serious rider. Available in “Large”, “Extra Large” and “Ouch!”.

Doesn’t that sound like a much more formidable kind of condom?  I mean, you’re obviously gonna have SOMETHING there.  And something, ladies and gentlemen, is better than nothing?


See if you can find the Trojan Horse in the following illustration:


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