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Archive for the ‘Bad Taste’ Category
Barbie: Tattooed and Knocked Up
June 25th, 2009 01:42pm by stultzie
Tattoo Barbie made her debut in London earlier this April and since then, she has been receiving mixed reviews. Some think she is neat, allowing children to customize her skin and clothes as well as their own bodies with the ‘tattoo gun’ included in the packaging, while others proclaim that Matel has lost its mind. If the tattoos are the principle issue, then why stop with scrutiny of this doll? What about the tattoos I remember receiving in ‘goodie bags’ from birthday parties? Fairs? Prize counters at arcades? There was no controversy there, at least that I can recall.
Or maybe there is controversy because Barbie is supposed to be a role model for little girls. If THAT’S why parents are heated then maybe they should have a more active role in their children’s lives. Maybe they should realize that barbie has been, and always will be, a provocative slut with idealistic measurements who has been setting unattainable standards for little girls for years. Well, except for this one…
Barbie’s friend Midge
Sexy
Single
Knocked Up
Good job Matel, always pushing the envelope.
Popularity: 1%
Monkey Pees on Zambian President
June 24th, 2009 01:12pm by stultzie
Banda softly shouted: “You (monkey) have urinated on my jacket,” and paused as he looked up to see the animal playing in a tree just above his chair.
“Perhaps these are blessings,” he said continuing his address amid laughter from the audience of journalists and diplomats at the State House presidential offices.
Beats getting shat on?
I wonder if he would have been so lighthearted about the matter, had that been the case.
Regardless, presidents getting peed on is still a pretty funny concept.
I’m easily amused.
And ok with that.
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Fucking China…
June 22nd, 2009 03:56pm by stultzieis a concept I have been toying around with recently, ya know, for blogging purposes. A series, if you will, as I always find myself muttering, ‘fucking China’ about some random issue or story. It’s not that I’m racist or anything, I don’t HATE China, it’s just easier for me to feel ’some-sorta-way’ about their culture and practices than most other places in the world. I honestly cant explain why I am this way nor will I defend the fact that I am; it is what it is.
FUCKING CHINA 1.
“Beginning July 1, officials in Guangzhou will enforce a new regulation that allows only one dog per household. The law will impact all families, so households that currently have two or more canines will be forced to choose which dog stays and which must go.”
“Although officials have refused to talk to the Western news media about the controversial law, it appears to be part of an effort to control the growing stray dog population.”
“Mass dog killing campaigns and rabies outbreaks are common in China…
As you can see, I have uploaded a photo of a dog; my dog. This is because she was beside me as I read this ; judging harshly, no doubt. As I considered how it would feel to have to make such a choice, I settled on the fact that I would rather kill myself than facilitate a fluffy death sentence. As an avid lover of animals, I cannot imagine having to make that kind of decision and I wish ungodly things upon those who are responsible for passing such a law. Why does it not surprise me that you would want to murder every other Lassie, Sparky, and Spot, China? This article made me sick, fuck you.
FUCKING CHINA 2.
Don’t think I forgot about your Olympic scandal, China…
(i didn’t)
“A 7-year-old Chinese girl was not good-looking enough for the Olympics opening ceremony, so another little girl with a pixie smile lip-synced Ode to the Motherland…”
“…it’s in the national interest…”
So let me get this straight, by hiding ‘the-ugly-one’ and making a mockery of your national anthem you were doing what was best for your country? WTF CHINA!? It was both shallow and disgusting and it was arrogance that led you to believe you could deceive the entire world. With the whole overpopulation issue you really couldn’t find a child that was both talented and pretty? I’m not buying it.
FUCKING CHINA 3.
Apparently, saline injections are becoming increasingly popular in the Japanese alternative club scene. Now, before I go any further, if you’re wondering what compelled me to put a story about Japan in a blog with gripes about China, I’ll tell you; because Japan is guilty by geographic association. Now lets move along, shall we?
“…saline infusion is a gradual process and you become a freak progressively. That’s the joy of it…”
“Inflation isn’t painful, it’s more of a weird sensation – but it is the act of using the body and seeking another experience. It’s a bit tight. If your head gets really full, you feel a lot of pressure.”
The article uses words like ‘play’ and ‘joy’ in describing this, not new, but newly popular fad. Had I been the one covering this story, ‘troubling’ would surely grace the page alongside ‘hideous’ and ’sick’. I’m no stranger to alternative club scenes, and don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen my fair share of ‘play’, but this, I just can’t seem to grasp. Help me out here Chin—-er, um Japan. I can come up with plentiful Godzilla jokes on my own without your people warping into his likeliness. Furthermore, it isn’t permanent (which makes you a pussy) and it looks awful (which makes you a jackass). You’re making it far too easy for me to think of things I probably shouldn’t ever say…
and on that note, additional images of prehistoric looking club kids can be found here.
le fin.
for now, at least.
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…but can you ride this bike with no handlebars?
June 19th, 2009 03:40pm by stultzie
There’s a lot about this bike that just doesn’t add up. I’m not even concerned about the absence of handlebars, really; I mean, where the hell are the pedals? After trying to visualize how one could even attempt to ride such a contraption, I’ve come to the conclusion that an item like this is solely meant to be groped, molested and humped at high speeds.
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