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Shot on the Potty

July 10th, 2009 04:23pm by stultzie

AnotherToiletShot

Authorities said a bullet from a gun that was accidentally dropped injured a Tampa woman sitting in a bathroom stall. Police said the bullet hit 53-year-old Janifer Bliss in the lower left leg. She was taken to a hospital with minor injuries.

Bliss was sitting on the toilet in a hotel bathroom when a woman in the next stall accidentally let her handgun slip out of her waist holster. The weapon discharged when it hit the ground.

Police said the gun belonged to a 56-year-old woman who has a concealed weapons permit.

The case has been referred to the State Attorney’s Office to determine if any charges will be filed.

FAIL.

…and what do they mean IF any charges will be filed? If nothing else she’d  AT LEAST be paying my hospital bill. It was an accident, I get that, but a ‘oh shit, my bad’ hardly seems enough to break even on being shot.

(note: it should be obvious, but the image above is NOT the 53 year old victim. I just like pictures and it seemed appropriate enough ;p )

Popularity: 3%

Crazy Naked Lady Struck by Prison Bus

July 10th, 2009 04:12pm by stultzie

womanhitbybusThis story is awesome. Like, SO awesome.

Instead of making any additional commentary on the article, I’m just going to bold the most awesome-est parts!

PROVIDENCE—A woman being driven to Rhode Island’s mental hospital was struck by a bus transporting prisoners after she jumped out of a taxi and ran across the highway.

State Police Capt. James Swanberg said the woman assaulted a cab driver taking her to the Eleanor Slater Hospital in Cranston on Tuesday morning, causing the taxi to strike a guardrail on Interstate 95 in Providence.

The woman ran across the highway without her shirt on and police say she was struck by a bus carrying prisoners, presumably to court in Providence. The woman suffered non-life threatening injuries and was taken to Rhode Island Hospital, police said.

The prisoners were placed on a second bus. Swanberg says the woman will face charges of simple assault and disorderly conduct.

God bless you, you crazy bitch.

And while I’m feeling ’spiritual’ I’d also like to thank the late J.C. for preventing a tragedy such as a 12 car pile up, as I’m sure untamed breasts swinging about on a highway could have been a little distracting to other drivers.

twelve-car-pile-up-semi-tragic-death-demotivational-poster-1239207417-500x400

though the poster raises a valid point…

hmmm… to scratch or not to scratch that last comment

now i’m just torn

Popularity: 5%

Hello Durex

July 10th, 2009 12:34pm by stultzie

…hello? hello?

grandmothers and vibrators…

embarrassing AND funny

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Popularity: 2%

Alcoholic Badger

July 10th, 2009 12:20pm by stultzie

For some unknown reason, I’m really good at finding ridiculous drunk news stories…

AND HERE’S ANOTHER ONE!

emo-badger-save-them

BERLIN (Reuters) – A badger in Germany got so drunk on over-ripe cherries it staggered into the middle of a road and refused to budge, police said on Wednesday.

A motorist called police near the central town of Goslar to report a dead badger on a road — only for officers to turn up and discover the animal alive and well, but drunk.

Police discovered the nocturnal beast had eaten cherries from a nearby tree which had turned to alcohol and given the badger diarrhea.

Having failed to scare the animal away, officers eventually chased it from the road with a broom.

A drunk badger shitting in the middle of the road is news?

Love it.

For the sake of shits and giggles while we’re on the topic of badgers…

Remember this classic internet-crack throwback?
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Popularity: 3%

Death to the Hitler Tree?

July 8th, 2009 12:43pm by stultzie

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In the present climate of climate change and weekly world symposia on preserving the environment, it would seem an obvious crime to cut down a healthy, thriving oak tree, and that is exactly what is causing heated debate in the small town of Jaslo in south-east Poland.

So why is this noble oak causing such controversy? Well, it’s not just any old tree. The oak was planted in 1942, during the Nazi occupation, having been donated to the town’s German administrator by Adolf Hitler to mark the dictator’s birthday.

Perhaps nothing would have happened had it not been for the still sharp memory of 81-year-old local historian, Kazimierz Polak. When the tree was earmarked to be felled to improve traffic flow, Polak felt he had to make the authorities aware of its historic significance… (more…)

Popularity: 2%