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Archive for June, 2009

where-is-jesus-today

Where is Jesus Today?

June 25th, 2009 01:19pm by flipvine

knock knock jesusNo, this joke has nothing to do with Microsoft (where you do you want to go today) or Waldo (where is waldo) or “Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego”.

A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, “Where is Jesus today?”

Steven raises his hand and says, “He’s in Heaven.”

Mary answers, “He’s in my heart.”

Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, “He’s in our bathroom!”

The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this.

“Well,” Little Johnny says, “every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells ‘Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!’”

Popularity: 1%

Two Nuns and The Blind Man

June 25th, 2009 12:52pm by flipvine

nun-legsI swore to myself that I’ll stop making jokes about nuns after I saw the movie Bad Liutenant – but this is a rather good one that I couldn’t stop myself from sharing with you all :-D

Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits. After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits, and paint in the nude. In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door.

“Who is it?” calls one of the nuns.

“Blind man,” replies a voice from the other side of the door.

The two nuns look at each other and shrug, and, deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door.

“Nice gazongas,” says the man, “where do you want these blinds?”

And I appologize, I couldn’t get any pictures of nude nuns painting so I figured that picture up there will at least set the mood appropriately, even if it isn’t totally in line with the topic of this joke ;)

Popularity: 1%

Tweets and Twits for 2009-06-25

June 25th, 2009 12:00pm by flipvine
  • RT @deemurthy New high school slang, facebook means oral sex, and myspace means sex, what does twitter mean? <- a hand-job in a strip club! #

Popularity: 1%

ibarkd – but did you meow? plus barking cats!

June 24th, 2009 07:53pm by flipvine

ibarkd.logoThere’s a microblogging (Twitter-clone in other words) site called ibarkd.com – basically a place for you to pretend that you’re your pet dog and bark about whatever you think your pet is barking about.

My first question is, why haven’t they started imeowd.com as well? The domain is available – why discriminate against cats like this?  I mean, I’m allergic to the little beasts, but that doesn’t mean I won’t start an imeowd site if i was starting an ibarkd site! Sheesh..

So, I present to you an argument for the equality of cats and dogs in this Twitter-ful world:

There you go – a barking cat. Either that or its “yapping” – ala talking the way Twitter makes you want to communicate – in 140 character bursts ;)

Popularity: 1%

Lenin, Trotsky, Cramer and Sanders – surprising, bizzare, even weird!

June 24th, 2009 06:58pm by flipvine

I have to say, I never expected to find Russian revolutionaries living amongs us here in the US. Perhaps its some sort of time travel thing, or maybe family resemblance?  I have no idea, but take a look at these:

jim-cramer-totally-looks-like-vladimir-lenin

Jim Cramer from CNBC’s “Mad Money with Jim Cramer” and Vladimir Lenin.  Yup, striking resemblance, no?  I wonder if Lenin had a big board of sound effects to choose from during his speeches at rallies and such?

leon-trotsky-totally-looks-like-colonel-sanders

Harland Sanders, better known as Colonel Sanders of KFC looks like Leon Trostsky, another Russian Bolshevik revolutionary.  I mean, clean up the haircut a little bit.  Upgrade the glasses, put on an apron, etc.  You get the picture ;)

Here are the original posts: Leon Trotsky totally looks like Colonel Sanders and Jim Cramer totally looks like Vladimir Lenin on TotallyLooksLike.com.  Cool site, you can look forward to us investigating this and other look-a-like situations further.  If you know of any – send ‘em to us so we can investigate!

Popularity: 21%