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Grossest Amsterdam Story

June 10th, 2009 10:08pm by flipvine

450px-flag_of_amsterdam1Let me introduce this one with the following words of wisdom.  If you title a story “MY grossest Amsterdam story”, and then add the following disclaimer to the first paragraph (like Mr. Worm Miller did) – then your name is probably Steve and indeed you are probably the character the story is about.

I’m gonna warn you up front, this story is a bit gross. The star of this story isn’t me; it’s a friend of mine. I’ll call him Steve. So a group of us were in Amsterdam, doing all the standard things people do there – hitting the “coffee shops,” the Van Gogh museum, and ultimately a sex show.

I mean common, lets face it, if you’re going to ask something bizzare from your doctor or friend or parent or whatever – you’re going to say a friend named Steve did it.  If you’re going to buy something absurdly weird at a store, you’re gonna say .. thats right .. you’re buying it for your friend who’s name happens to be Steve.

So without further ado, here’s “My Grossest Amsterdam Story” .. or as it should properly be titled “Steve’s Grossest Amsterdamn Story”.  It reminds me of the kind of stories Chuck Palahniuk writes (author of Fight Club), and his grossest story – “Guts”. Except I betcha if Chuck wrote “Guts” about himself, he’d have the balls to admit that its about him.

If you’re read this far into this blog post, I admire your perseverance.  As a side note, that flag at the top is the official flag of the city of Amsterdam.  Yes, it does have XXX on it.  And no, its not because everything in the city is pornographic.  Here’s the full story about the flag and its significance:

The official city motto is Valor, Resolution, and Mercy. The three X’s, saltires (St. Andrew’s crosses), are taken to represent these even though the X’s are older than the motto. A popular tradition also links the X’s to the three threats to the city: Water, Fire and Pestilence.

Thought I’d throw that in so you actually learn something. ;)

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