I was talking to my friend Nimble (nicknames used to protect the innocent) yesterday over some beers. She said the dog she adopted with her boyfriend recently is a ton of work to take care of. In fact, she was telling me that its as much work as taking care of a baby. I’ve never had a dog.. or a baby for that matter.. so I can neither confirm or deny this. But I recently came across a website that sells pet strollers – and I’m pretty sure the folks that get a stroller for their pet are thinking one of two things. The first is that their pet is a baby. The second is that by jogging with a pet stroller they’ll be able to get more exercise by dragging their pet around in a stroller while they jog/speedwalk/crawl. The obvious exception to those two is pet owners with pets that are sick or unable to get some fresh air themselves.
So yeah, ridiculous, right? I mean, babies in Manhattan don’t get that kind of insulated bubble-stroller pampering. And get ready for more ridiculosity – guess which car company makes strollers? Jeep! Yeah, no joke here.. take a look at the fancy jogging stroller over here on the left. I mean, dogs are typically off-road kinda animals, they don’t need a 4-wheel drive stroller powered by a human to get around. But I guess some pet owners want to baby their dogs this much, so .. eh?!
So, you know what happens when you start pampering your pets like this? They get fat. I predict that pet obesity is going to increase 10-fold if pet strollers become more common. Unfortunately most pet strollers have a weight limit of 30 pounds for pets. So undoubtedly, Hummer will start producing fat-pet-SUV-strollers soon.
Here are some images of ridiculously obese cats taken from an article on Pet’s Best Insurance. Enjoy the caturday freak-show:
Meet Princess Chunk, who .. get this .. is a homeless cat that was found in New Jersey. Appropriate name, for sure. I just don’t understand how a homeless cat could get that fat. Maybe it has to do with Soprano’s style excess in New Jersey where the dumpsters have enough food to get a cat to this size. I dunno.
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Apparently, saline injections are becoming increasingly popular in the Japanese alternative club scene. Now, before I go any further, if you’re wondering what compelled me to put a story about Japan in a blog with gripes about China, I’ll tell you; because Japan is guilty by geographic association. Now lets move along, shall we?
The article uses words like ‘play’ and ‘joy’ in describing this, not new, but newly popular fad. Had I been the one covering this story, ‘troubling’ would surely grace the page alongside ‘hideous’ and ’sick’. I’m no stranger to alternative club scenes, and don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen my fair share of ‘play’, but this, I just can’t seem to grasp. Help me out here Chin—-er, um Japan. I can come up with plentiful Godzilla jokes on my own without your people warping into his likeliness. Furthermore, it isn’t permanent (which makes you a pussy) and it looks awful (which makes you a jackass). You’re making it far too easy for me to think of things I probably shouldn’t ever say…