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The boy with the amaaaazing memory! joke

June 12th, 2010 02:02am by flipvine

calvin-peeingThere is a talent show, and the announcer walks out on stage. “Ladies and gentlemen,” he proclaims, “and now.. the boy with the amaaaazing memory!”

The audience applauds, and a little boy walks out on stage, drinking some water from a bucket. ”

Ladies and gentlemen,” the announcer continues, “and now… the boy with the amaaaazing memory… is going to pee on the first four rows of the audience!”

The audience screams, and the people start running away.

The announcer yells after them, “Ladies and gentlemen, there’s no use to run! He’s got an amaaaazing memory!

Popularity: 2%

I can’t believe it’s pot butter!

May 24th, 2010 08:04pm by flipvine

pot_butterI can’t believe it either!  Society has definitely reached a new level of sophistication with this product. Must be from one of those dispensaries in California like Apothecary 420 in Hollywood.  This could lead to an “I cooked with this stuff, ate, but I can’t stop being hungry” problem.

Popularity: 3%

Pearly Gates joke – “Can you get married in Heaven?”

May 12th, 2010 04:52pm by flipvine

On their way to getting married, a young couple is involved in a fatal car accident. They find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates, waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter shows up, they ask him. St. Peter says, ‘I don’t know. This is the first time anyone has asked that. Let me go and find out,’ and he leaves.

The couple sit and wait, and wait. Two months pass and the couple is still waiting. As they wait, they discuss that if they were allowed to get married in Heaven, what was the eternal aspect of it all. ‘What if it doesn’t work?’ they wondered. ‘Are we stuck together forever?’

After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled. ‘Yes,’ he informs the couple, ‘you can get married in Heaven.’

‘Great!’ says the couple, ‘But we were just wondering, what if things don’t work out? Can we also get a divorce in Heaven?’

St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slams his clipboard onto the ground.

‘What’s wrong?’ ask the frightened couple.

‘OH, COME ON!’ St. Peter shouts, ‘It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it’ll take me to find a lawyer?

Popularity: 2%

I’ll have what he had

May 10th, 2010 12:43am by flipvine

What He Had

Popularity: 2%

Caption this image (my first attempt: “Get in my pouch!”)

May 7th, 2010 07:41pm by flipvine

angry_kangaroo

Popularity: 2%