flipvine

• All you have to do to succeed in software is to consistently suck less with every release. #
• Ray: People are complex like onions – peel a layer, see something else. Damon: No, they're not – peel an onion, all you get is more onion. #
• Getting caught smuggling heroin into jail in an electric toothbrush has gotta suck lmao: http://su.pr/7gK1iO #
• There is no evil, just self-interest and circumstance. #
• @funnyoneliners Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. #
• "In other words: Gentlemen–and, since this is Silicon Valley, I do mean pretty much all gentlemen–start your engines." http://su.pr/19g3 #
• RT @Libra100681 Don't walk through the screen door, you might strain yourself. #
• BOOM! Headshot. http://su.pr/1BTJnQ #
• RT @xrayedman: working the graveyard shift at hospital tonight but we are not supposed to call it that. I am working the death panel shift #
• RT @jlabaw: How am I gonna eat, if you keep taking the words out of my mouth? <- I guess if you want to eat your words that's a good one #
• RT @xrayedman: Whenever I hear some professor type introduced as an expert in child rearing I can't help but think of them as a perv. < rofl #
• RT @dpbkmb: What does a dyslexic rabbi say? "Yo!" (via @FizzyDuck) <- almost as good as the backwards Santa "Oh Oh Oh" joke #
• RT @mgimena: Honk if you want to see my finger #
• RT @FizzyDuck: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the toilet? Because it has a silent P! #

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