flipvine

• RT @JohnSatino A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn’t pay his bill, so he gave him another six months. Henny Youngman #
• RT @iStupidx haha, no need 2 save my forsaken soul! I dont want 2 be a Christian, I luv FUCKIN’ hookers, strippers, N’ porn too much. #
• RT @DanCanfield Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes. #
• RT @harrisfellman @KayHunter a hot dog tastes better cooked over wood than a mattress – for sure #
• RT @MackLikesCheese @amandablaze Did you have sex with Elmo again?! How many times do I have to tell you he is just a child! #
• RT @amandablaze @MackLikesCheese that’s about as funny as a screen door on a battleship #
• my new hobby is doing detective work on private twitter conversations and inside jokes #
• #iwillneverforget that.. umm.. damn it, i forgot what i was gonna say #
• RT @funnyoneliners: Bumper Sticker: “Flies spread disease. Keep yours zipped!” (via @DiamondSharp) #
• RT @funnyoneliners: Health plans are like hospital gowns…You only think you’re covered. (via @GiggleFlower) #

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• Poster – DOG ARTHRITIS has been cured, and it only takes 5 baloons http://su.pr/1YRAtS #
• RT @NuttyNewswire: The Unthinkable Flavors of Japanese Ice Cream: Eel, horse, chichen wing, oyster, pit viper? http://bit.ly/17gqT0 #wtf #
• RT @LifeQuips: If you cannot be a poet, be the poem. ~David Carradine #
• How weird, story about earthquake in Baja California, Mexico is gone from everywhere but the BBC: http://su.pr/30IMXq #
• RT @CalFireNews Four large Earthquakes rock Baja California – No Tsunami Alert: Earthquake Location MapCredit: NOAA.. http://bit.ly/kzoO0 #
• Hello, 911? Can you give my number to the officer please? lol http://su.pr/2CQQUb #
• RT @gansettbeach: RT @funnyoneliners: Ratify – To cast a spell and turn someone into a rodent. #joke #
• RT @westoflondon: If I stick an eighth of hash up my arse to go through airport security, can a sniffer dog smell it? I’m asking 4 a friend. #
• RT @HoSpirit: RT @Pendulum668 @capnkindbud wtf is a foot penis??? <- I dunno, but here’s a fruit penis: http://su.pr/2yfVX2 #
• RT @copyblogger: “You can’t wait for inspiration, you have to go after it with a club.” ~Jack London <- or find a “muse” IN a club #
• Thanks for the RTs/responses: @LastHopeInc @carlibontrager @ZAGrrl @GldnAngl @riyel27 @twr_me @primadonna11 @HoSpirit #
• RT @Libra100681: Merely having an open mind iz nothing <- yes, an open mind is a terrible thing to waste http://su.pr/1fe4dG lol #
• RT @broadbandGNRL: She was the toast of the town with her blonde hair and triple-D fun bags, what a weekend. <- didja make grilled cheese? #
• Damn, @hootsuite is such a damn well-thought-through twitter client, started using it yesterday (or the day before) already in love with it! #
• Poster – STOP – in the name of love! http://su.pr/1sazSI #
• Poster – KILT – is how you say commando is Scotland http://su.pr/32IOQp #
• RT @NuttyNewswire: Family visits 52 zoos in 52 weeks, traveling 22,000 miles http://bit.ly/nvbQX #wtf <- those crazy tourists! #
• “Smoking kills. And if you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.” – Brooke Shields <- lol except for: http://ow.ly/iZbu #
• “I make Jessica Simpson look like a rock scientist.” – Tara Reid <- thats such an awesome quote on so many levels #
• RT @biswasdiener Take a visually fun test to fin out your pleasure quotient and get tips for increasing your pleasure http://bit.ly/lyNeg #
• RT @comedybot To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. -Steven Wright #
• RT @soulshow: RT @tearn RT @HermosaPier Memo to self.: Stay away from Knife wielding drunks at 1:30 in the morning. Stay safe my friends. #

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